MATCH PREVIEWS

MVV Maastricht vs. Feyenoord: Can the Cup Cook Up Chaos?

The KNVB Cup is back, and MVV Maastricht is hosting Feyenoord at De Geusselt in what feels like a David vs. Goliath showdown. 

MVV, chilling in 14th place in the Eerste Divisie, has had a season full of ups and downs, but they’ve picked up 8 points from their last five games, showing some signs of life. Hosting Feyenoord is like inviting a heavyweight boxer to a pillow fight, but hey, it’s the Cup. Stranger things have happened.

Feyenoord isn’t messing around this season: With 35 goals in the Eredivisie and a Champions League 4-2 demolition of Sparta Prague under their belt, they’re flexing hard. 

Even if Brian Priske sends out the B-team, it’s still likely to look like the A-team against MVV. Add to that six wins in their last seven away games, and you can understand why the visitors are strolling into this one brimming with confidence.

But let’s talk odds… If you think MVV can channel their inner Spakenburg and take something, a draw at 9.0 might tickle your fancy. 

For the hosts, it’s all about parking the bus, praying for a defensive masterclass, and hoping Zakaria Eddahchouri has his shooting boots on. De Geusselt will be rocking, and the KNVB Cup loves a bit of chaos. Who’s to say it won’t happen here?

Ajax vs. Telstar: Can Lightning Strike in Amsterdam?

On December 19, the Johan Cruijff ArenA hosts a classic Cup tale: Ajax, the Dutch heavyweights, versus Telstar, the scrappy underdogs from the Eerste Divisie. Ajax are cruising at home this season.

Seven wins, one draw, and 35 goals in the Eredivisie. Davy Klaassen and Wout Weghorst have been getting the job done upfront, and with PSV looking nailed-on for the league, this Cup run could be their best chance at lifting silverware.

Telstar, though, aren’t here for selfies. Sure, 11th place in the Eerste Divisie and six wins from 19 matches doesn’t scream giant-killers, but Zakaria Eddahchouri isn’t reading the script. Since joining Telstar, the striker has bagged 25 goals in 45 league games and will be licking his lips at the thought of a famous upset. 

Telstar will need Eddahchouri in beast mode, and their defense will play like it’s their World Cup final if they want to hang with Ajax.

Feeling lucky? Ajax is at 3.5 to win the KNVB Cup; it's not bad if you think they’ll walk this tournament. But for the daredevils, Telstar’s odds of pulling off the shock of the century could turn €10 into a fat €310. Miracles are rare, but the Cup loves chaos. Could it happen in Amsterdam?

WTF?

Scrooge United

The long-suffering Manchester United staff weren’t expecting a glamorous Christmas party this year. After a year of brutal cost-cutting, Michelin-starred dining and champagne fountains were never on the menu. Honestly, Mikael Silvestre in a Father Christmas outfit on Zoom would have done just fine.

But Jim Ratcliffe, United’s newest emperor, had other ideas: The Christmas party? Cancelled. The £100 bonus? Scrapped. In their place? A shiny £40 department store voucher. Enough to pick up a half-decent turkey or a box of stroopwafels if you are feeling indulgent.

Here is where it gets really bleak… Some staff were overheard muttering, “It was better under the Glazers.” That is right, the Glazers, a name so reviled in Manchester that even saying it risks being banned from Old Trafford for life.

The Glazers set the bar so low it is practically underground, but somehow, Ratcliffe has managed to tunnel even deeper. Is Christmas at Old Trafford this year? No tinsel, no turkey, and absolutely no Mikael. Thanks for the festive cheer, Ratters.

DID YOU KNOW?

Ruud’s Premier League Club: A Dutch Manager’s Quiz

Ruud van Nistelrooy recently became the 11th Dutch manager to take charge of a Premier League team when he joined Leicester City.

But here’s a challenge: 

Can you name the other 10?

Here’s a clue to get you started:

One of them was the Premier League’s very first Dutch manager, taking over Chelsea in 1996. Another famously fell out with José Mourinho while he was manager of Tottenham, while one had an incredibly brief stint at Crystal Palace that didn’t even last 100 days.

Hit reply and tell us your answer.

MEME OF THE DAY

Surprise mofo’s, it’s me, agent Erik…

WHO WILL WIN?