MATCH PREVIEWS

Bayern Munich vs Borussia Dortmund: Klassiker Reloaded at the Allianz

There’s always something electric when Bayern and Dortmund clash. Saturday’s Klassiker at the Allianz Arena promises all the usual chaos, quality, and maybe a bit of needle too. Bayern are top of the table and looking settled. Dortmund? Floating around eighth, they’ve got just enough firepower to cause trouble, but consistency remains elusive.

Key Stats to Know

Bayern have turned the Allianz into a high-scoring haven. Six wins in their last nine home matches, with 2.67 goals per game and an xG of 3.0. Defensively, they’re a bit loose, conceding 1.33 despite just 0.89 xG against. Injuries to Alphonso Davies and Jamal Musiala might hurt their rhythm, but Harry Kane is still on fire. He’s scored 34 this season, including three in his last five.

Dortmund’s away form is respectable with five wins and three losses in their last eight on the road. They’re averaging 1.62 goals from an xG of 2.76, so the finishing hasn’t matched the chances. Defensively, it’s 1.38 goals conceded per match. Sehrou Guirassy is their main threat up front with 25 goals this season, while Julian Brandt and Karim Adeyemi offer support in the final third.

Bayern have dominated this fixture lately, winning six of the last seven home meetings with Dortmund.

Betting Suggestions

Bayern to win 2-1 is priced at 8.1 and looks like a tidy angle. Dortmund have goals in them, but Bayern at home is a tough nut to crack. For something spicy, over 1.5 bookings in the first half at 1.92 is tempting. These matches tend to get heated early, and there’s no shortage of characters who love a card.

Valencia vs Sevilla: Back from the Brink at the Mestalla

Valencia looked cooked a few weeks ago. But then came that late smash-and-grab against Real Madrid, a win no one saw coming, and suddenly the Mestalla has a pulse again. They’re still lingering dangerously near the relegation zone in 15th, but they’re not in freefall anymore. Sevilla aren’t much better, just three spots ahead in 12th. Two sides, one messy season, and maybe a turning point.

Key Stats to Know

Valencia’s home form is carrying them right now. Five wins from their last seven at the Mestalla is solid enough. They’re averaging 1.14 goals per game from 1.29 expected, which suggests they’re squeezing every drop out of each chance. At the back, things look a little worse. They’re conceding 1.43 goals per match, despite allowing just 0.94 xG. That’s not a great trend. Injuries to Iván Jaime and Thierry Correia won’t help, and both Jonas and Rafa Mir are suspended. The bright spot is Diego López, who has four in his last five and looks like the one man capable of dragging them forward.

Sevilla have been hard to pin down on the road. Three wins, two draws, and three losses in their last eight is the definition of inconsistent. Their attack is doing slightly better than expected, with 1.5 goals per game off just 1.05 xG. The defence is leaking at the same rate, conceding 1.5 from 1.36 expected. Dodi Lukebakio is the obvious danger man, leading their scoring charts with 11 goals. But the injury list is ugly. Sow, Pedrosa, Vargas, Kouassi, Adams, and Lamela are all out, and Kike Salas is suspended.

Valencia haven’t beaten Sevilla at home in their last six tries. The numbers are close, the squads are patched together, and both clubs badly need a clean run of form.

Betting Suggestions

Valencia to win at 2.28 feels like a smart play. They’re coming off that massive confidence boost against Real Madrid, and their home form is solid. Sevilla are missing half a starting XI and haven’t looked convincing away from home. This could be the moment Valencia finally break that winless home streak against them.

WTF?

🎙️ CBS Studio Nearly Implodes After Micah Richards's "No Comment" Moment

In what might be the longest eight seconds in sports broadcasting history, CBS Champions League coverage went from professional analysis to awkward silence faster than you can say "career-limiting move."

The play-by-play:

• Clip shows a Bayern fan accidentally dousing herself with a drink

• Jamie Carragher and Micah Richards start laughing

• Richards drops an innuendo with a "No Comment"

• Kate Abdo enters the longest eight seconds of her hosting career

Between the lines: While Carragher opted for the classic "bury head in desk" 

defense mechanism, social media exploded with viewers wondering if they'd just witnessed a career-ending moment on live TV. Ever the professional, Abdo managed to steer the ship back to safer waters with a gentle "Could you take it down a notch?"

Bottom line: Just another day in the CBS studio where the line between punditry and comedy continues to blur. At least nobody mentioned the VAR official checking betting odds... 😅

DID YOU KNOW?

🌍 The World Cup's Unwritten Rule: Home Cooking Only, Please

Here's a head-scratcher for your next pub quiz: No foreign coach has ever won the World Cup. Zero. Nada. Not one time in nearly 100 years of competition. And now Carlo Ancelotti might be eyeing that particular piece of history with Brazil.

By the numbers:

• 22 World Cups played

• All 22 won by teams with domestic coaches

• 0 foreign coaches have lifted the trophy

• Brazil hasn't had a foreign coach in their 109-year history

Why it matters: Ancelotti, the trophy-collecting machine who's won everything else in sight, was rumoured to be Brazil's next manager before re-upping with Real Madrid. The Seleção's interest makes sense, he's basically football royalty with a CV longer than a CVS receipt.

Between the lines: While Don Carlo could've made history as Brazil's first-ever foreign coach (and potentially the first foreign coach to win the World Cup), he chose to stay in Madrid. Maybe he knows something we don't about that particular glass ceiling.

Bottom line: For now, the World Cup remains a "locals only" party when it comes to winning coaches. Though if anyone could break that streak, it'd probably be the guy who treats Champions League trophies like Pokemon cards. 🏆

MEME OF THE DAY

When will people stop making Ten Hag memes?

WHO WILL WIN?